Wednesday, August 30, 2017

An Odd Fear

I've always been a collector. I had all sorts of items squirreled away in different parts of the yard I grew up in. It was a sad day when I had to give up part of my hoard.
 
I was about 7 years old, wandering around the yard like usual, I stumbled upon a beauty of a feather;  jet black and shiny, a perfect specimen and I couldn't resist. I was holding it for several seconds when I felt something crawling on the back of my fingers. Startled, I turned my hand over to reveal a huge black beetle, not unlike the colour of the feather, clinging to my skin. Several hard shakes and it would not let go.  I used my other hand to get rid of it and ran in the opposite direction.
 
Now, here is the interesting part - my mind decided that somehow this beautiful feather that I was still holding had somehow magically produced the little monster that had scared the wits out of me. And being witless as I was, became convinced of it.  I dropped the feather, went to my room where I kept this particular delicate collection, took them outside and dumped the lot.
 
Fear had taken something from me.  Where there was once intrigue and beauty, now every time a feather presented itself, all I could feel was disgust.
 
Fast forward to years later.  My daughter has the same interest in random items found in nature.  She has a small collection of feathers in a special place in her room. When out on a walk recently, I saw this beauty of a feather, my first inclination was to take a photo of it and leave it where it was. I knew however, that it would make a lovely "Good Morning" gift for my girl.  Strong memories of why I do not pick up feathers were at the forefront of my mind when I picked it up, turned it over and gently placed it in my pocket. 
 
I couldn't help but wonder if there was a large beetle exploring in there, and I had to remind myself several times on my way home that I had thoroughly inspected it.
 
As expected, it did make a much appreciated gift and her smile was worth it. Also, I do believe I made some headway in resolving an old irrational fear. That's not to say I'm restarting that particular collection, but now, someday is a possibility.
 
 

13 comments:

  1. You found a great feather and glad you were able to get past your fear to give it to your daughter knowing SHE would love it.

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  2. Glad you were able to get past your fear :)

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  3. I find it fascinating how we can hold on to a fear that can grip us decades later. I'm glad you we able to pick up tha feather for your daughter. I have to admit I would freak out too if a beetle latched on to me

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  4. Irrational fears are irrational aren't they so it is hard to understand them, but I am glad for you that you are managing to move on from yours. I am sure that your daughter appreciated the feather.

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  5. Hello, it is a pretty feather. It is a good thing to let go of your fears. Have a happy day!

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  6. That tale pulled me in; you could develop a great story out of that!

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  7. Lovely feather find. - It's wonderful that you were able to swallow down that childhood fear and share the joy of a nature find.

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  8. Fear stops us all from doing wonderful things...a lesson I try to teach my girls and one I also try to remember. Lovely to read. Fears be gone.

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  9. What an interesting post! We need to reprogram your thoughts to lots of cute little wrens & friends about the world leaving you a gift of a feather to say hello! The other thing that is fascinating is that your daughter has the same feather collection as you did as a child, how wonderful that you have passed on your love of nature (without the beetle fear!)
    I look forward to seeing your feather collection some day!!
    Wren x

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  10. This is a great post Andrea. My son and I were just talking about how fear can hold you back from going forward in life. Glad you are able to let go of your fear. Thank you for sharing.
    Have a great fall season ahead. xo

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  11. I always thin that feathers are a special surprise for the Universe just for you. I am glad you got over your fear and made your girls day. I have a whole jar of them in my office. And I am still thrilled when I find a beautiful feather on my lawn.

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  12. It's interesting how memories can affect us so much. So sweet of you to try and conquer that fear to surprise your daughter, it was definitely worth it. I remember a tin of feathers I had as a child. I can't remember where the tin came from (probably my mom) but I found many feathers at a campground as a child and stored them in this tin. I never knew what happened to it but over the years I have never forgotten it.

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  13. I look forward to seeing your feather collection some day!!


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