We woke up, had our breakfast. The kids went off to school. I jumped right into my normal morning routine while my husband headed out to clean grain. Nothing has changed. Life goes on.
But wait, someone who has been in our lives for a very long time is gone. Shouldn't there be a substantial pause?
Every time I think about what our family went through this past weekend, my stomach turns, and it is a frequent thought. I'm wondering how everyone is doing. We so quickly went our separate ways, and it feels awful. I want to gather our little family together and have an entire week to just be together, talk about Uncle and recognize the enormity of how our lives have changed.
But everyone is dealing with this in their own way and I pray that everyone is okay. I hope they understand themselves and how it is they are dealing with the loss, and that they are taking care of themselves.
I've known Uncle Mike for the past twenty years, while my husband and children have never known a life without him. The Ostapovitch farm as I know it has been around for about 110 years, and Uncle was there for 100 of those years! I imagine that even the trees on the yard will notice that someone is missing.
The bottom line here is that change is difficult, especially when nothing has changed for such an incredibly long time. It is near impossible for me to imagine the farm without him, and every time I allow myself to think of this, my chest hurts.
Things will change now. I don't know what that is going to look like, but we will find our way. Traditions that can be kept will be. Who will say grace at our next family meal? I'm not sure, but it will be one of those painful moments that we will all have to go through. We will go through it together, and we will figure it out.
I'll leave this post with a picture of the sun. Whether is is rising or setting is entirely up to how you you chose to see it. That's all life is after all, our perspective. Is Uncle resting at the end of a very long day? Or has he been greeted with the most magnificent sunrise and beginning anew? Either way, I am so happy for him.